I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight

With somebody twice your size
Well I've been known to cause
A few break ups
An' I've been known to cause

A few births
Well I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work
And since the day I left Milwaukee

Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots
Of big money
And helpin' white people dance yeah

I got you in trouble in high school
But college now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me

Alcohol alcohol
I got blamed at your
Wedding reception
For your best man's

Embarrassing speech
And also for those naked
Pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings

And world leaders
I helped Hemingway write
Like he did
And I'll bet you a drink

Or two that
I can make you put that
Lampshade on your head
'Cause since the day I

Left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
I been making a fool out of
Folks just like you

And helping white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times

You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Yeah since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France

I been making the bars lots
Of big money
Helpin' white people dance
Yeah I got you in trouble

In high school
But college now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me

Alcohol
Alcohol
Alcohol
Alcohol